GUEST COMMENT: Interns and grads - what do your colleagues really mean?

This is a quick guide for all summer interns and first year grads on rotation. Here's how to translate what your new colleagues and managers really mean when they're talking to you and what to do about it:

1) 'We're delighted to have you on the team'

What it means: 'We didn't know you were coming until HR phoned the desk assistant 30 minutes ago asking where your desk was going to be.'

What to do: Smile nicely and take a deep breath, this is only just getting started.

2) 'We take your career development very seriously and want to make sure you get the highest level of support'

What it means: 'We sincerely hope that HR have a lot of courses on

offer to keep you away from us and out of our hair.

What to do: Take all the courses offered. Even if you get no real experience, it will still say on your CV that you did four weeks on a trading desk and you've hopefully picked up some useful skills and maybe even a qualification at the same time.

3) 'We would like you to run with a really important project that we simply haven't got round to doing'

What it means: 'We need someone to type all the contacts from the old database into the new CRM system as we forgot to submit our spreadsheets before the deadline. Leave it with us and it will never get done'

What to do: Start typing, learn the client names, end up with a nice data set of very useful information.

4) 'We really want you to feel part of the team'

What it means: '...mine's a cappuccino with sugar and extra chocolate, please.'

What to do: Only one option here, access your inner waitress and make sure it's really, really frothy.

5) 'Our desk is really tough, you may not be able to follow what's going on'

What it means: We are all long-term blaggers and could not possibly explain what we're doing or why as we are not sure ourselves. To avoid being found out we make it sound ultra-complicated and develop our own special vocabulary.

What to do: This is a gift. Stay quiet, watch and learn, get coffee and tidy the desks. At the end of four weeks, you'll know everything they know and more. Drop out of the program and become the desk head.

6) 'I used to be a graduate so I know just how you feel'

What it means: I photocopied and filed till I had blisters, I lived in Powerpoint, I did the lunch run and got yelled at if it was cold, I begged and pleaded for people to spend some time with me so I could learn something. Now I'm a real person and it's your turn.

What to do: Hunker down...it's going to be a long day.