Morning Coffee: Proof you have little chance of working for a hedge fund. How to go from an assembly line to Goldman Sachs

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If you were thinking of getting out of banking and seamlessly transitioning into a hedge fund, think again.

New figures, mentioned in Financial News and derived from the Financial Conduct Authority register and M&A boutique IMAS show that the number of FCA registered people in London is at its lowest level since 2004.

There are now 148,571 people registered in London, says IMAS, only slightly higher than the 140,920 people registered in 2004. 21,000 registered people have left the financial services industry since 2008.

The hit is almost entirely attributable to shrinking employment at big banks and brokers, where 21,599 people have disappeared in London since February 1988. At the same time, however, registered people working in buyside firms have increased substantially, yet the buyside is still inconsequential in terms of registered staff. Hedge funds, for example, increased their registered headcount by 37% between February 2008 and June 2013 - an increase of just 1,729 people. The implication is that only 8% of people leaving investment banks could get registered jobs in hedge funds, even if they were eligible for them. Bad news for bankers who want to join hedge funds. The only glimmer of hope comes from the fact that many hedge fund jobs are non-FCA registered...

Completely separately, DealBook has an excellent profile of Fabrice Tourre, the Goldman banker due to appear in court today in relation to the so-called Abacus mis-selling scandal. Since leaving Goldman, it says Fabrice has not only been pursuing a new life as a graduate student in Chicago, but also working on a coffee farm in Rwanda. Tourre, it seems may be presented in court as a low-level Goldman employee who has devoted his post-Goldman life to good causes and a life of the mind.

The New York Times also looks at how Tourre came to work at Goldman. Before he joined 'the firm', it says Tourre's previous job was on a production line at a French car parts factory. From there, Tourre attended Stanford and from there, he got an internship and a job at Goldman Sachs. The moral of the story, as ever, is that if you want to work for a big name bank you're best attending a big name university and doing a summer internship.


Liberum has hired an entire team of 13 people from Espirito Santo. (Telegraph)

Drunk man claiming to be an ex-Goldman employees says 'niggers are why I lost my job'. Gets punched in face. (Gawker) 

This is the Twitter account of Pablo Salame, co-head of Goldman Sachs’ securities division. (Twitter)

Man who has spent 83 years at Goldman Sachs was nearly laid off on his first day. (Wall Street Journal) 

The crazy complexity of Goldman Sachs. (Open Corporates)

There is over-capacity in debt capital markets. People will lose their jobs. (Financial News) 

Sources within UBS acknowledge that the investment bank’s glory days are over. (Quartz) 

Global head of commodities marketing disappears from Morgan Stanley. (Reuters) 

Three Morgan Stanley bankers joined Rosneft for 8 months, and then left again. (Businessweek)

Lloyd Blankfein’s beard says: “I’m relaxed, I’m being myself and I’m staying." (Financial Times)