The Deutsche Bank MD who became a Reiki Master after a breakdown
Paul Reeves is sitting at home in front of a camera. He is tanned and he is tattooed. Behind him is a statue of a Buddha. Ahead of him is his career as a master of the art of Reiki and dissipator of stress for people working in "high pressure industries." - People like Reeves himself until seven years ago.
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Reeves spent 23 years working for Deutsche Bank from 1996 to 2019. He was a managing director (MD) during the formative and then difficult period for Deutsche's investment bank. At one point he was designated 'CF3 Chief Executive' with regulatory responsibility for Deutsche's UK operations. He was also chief operating officer and regional control officer Deutsche EMEA Bank's markets division.
It was a job that nearly broke him. Instead of having his career as a Reiki Master ahead of him, Reeves could have had nothing at all. "I went to work one day, refused to speak to anyone and locked myself in my office," he says. "They sent me home on the train and I tried to kill myself at Liverpool Street Station."
He survived. And now he wants to help other people in a situation like his own.
"I was under a lot of pressure both at work and in my home life," says Reeves. "At work, my career was split into two halves. In the first half, I was growing and developing new markets and businesses. In the second half I was making sure those businesses complied with regulations that were so complex it was difficult to make money. A lot of the systems had been created quickly and didn't hang together. You couldn't oversee what traders were doing and so I was implementing the controls structure that would create management reports."
It was a job that involved long hours and travel. Reeves says he found himself working 16-18 hour days as Deutsche's regulatory issues mounted. A senior colleague, William Broeksmit, Deutsche's former chief risk officer, took his own life in 2014. Reeves spent years concealing his troubles. He was medicated from 2009 to 2016 and constantly tried to underplay the issues with his mental health. "The attitude at the time was you get paid a lot of money. Don’t make a fuss. If you can’t handle it, resign," he says. "HR aren't there to help you, and I knew that as COO. They would just want to get someone like me out of the bank as quickly and cheaply as possible."
It didn't help that, throughout this period, Reeves' marriage was failing. He was the main breadwinner and he had high familial costs. His father died, and he says his now ex-wife wasn't sympathetic to his stress: "It's not easy when your partner just wants to know how you're going to pay the school fees."
Reeves ended up spending $750k in legal fees alone during his ensuing divorce. After hitting rock bottom at Deutsche Bank, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and continued suffering in the years that followed. Until finally something changed.
"I went on holiday to the Maldives and I met a lady who was a guru working in the wellness area of the spa," says Reeves. "She was offering holistic treatment and she invited me to India for a retreat. It was something that found me, rather than something I was looking for. And it was incredibly comforting and awakening."
Reeves subsequently qualified as a Level 3 Reiki Master himself. Reiki is about working with the energy centres in the body, he says. Unlike massage, it involves working around 10cm away from the body's surface. Reeves says people can be sceptical, until they try it. "People say they feel much calmer after. Sometimes they see things. People tell me they have seen phoenixes and crows and all manner of different animals. Some feel they are levitating. Some say I am pressing down on them."
Looking back on his time at Deutsche Bank, he says he wishes he got out of the industry sooner. "In those first five years I couldn’t even bring myself to talk to anyone from the industry – it was almost like PTSD," he says.
Now Reeves wants to help people in the situation he was in. "It's not worth it. The money was great, but it's not worth the stress," he says.
If you or someone you know is struggling, support is available. In the UK, contact Samaritans free on 116 123. In the US, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). In Singapore, contact SOS on 1-767 or text 9151 1767. In Hong Kong, contact The Samaritans on 2896 0000. Other countries can find a local helpline via findahelpline.com.
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